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Do NOT accuse, act judgmental or make her feel guilty. She needs to know that she has privacy and confidentiality with you. Expect denial, shame, or fear. Talk to her with consistent, caring concern. Be honest! There are many things to say to her, "I'm really concerned that you are struggling with your weight, diet, or training, I'm worried about you!", "I'm worried about you!"; "I know you have a lot pf pressure from your parents/coaches to be thin...
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Can we talk about it?" (2000).
As Dr. Murphy and Leah Gutekunst (1997) say when you talk to the athlete expect any type of reaction from her. Be prepared, she can be embarrassed talking about her eating disorder. She might not want anyone to know about her eating disorder or is unwilling to talk about it...
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